Golf Escapist Gifts

"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."

'The groom picked the right day to chicken out!'

"Ahhh... close enough."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Crowded Ice Fishing

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"Now you can send it."

Second lifeReal life.

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Saved...life is good!

Rising Gas Prices

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

'At least they can never accuse me of 'insider trading' again.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'