Golf Cynic Gifts

"While Trump is slashing jobs his golf trips are costing taxpayers millions" "I'll put this trip in the usual slush fund." "Make Musk richer" "Ways to slash waste fraud and abuse in federal spending"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'I go to college -- What do you do for a living?'

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Bush vs. America

"You have a good lie."

Obama builds own gallows.

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

'I hate my boss!...'

The first accurate poll.

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'I see you hold degrees in eating, sleeping, AND mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the other college graduates who have applied.'

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

It's an unpaid internship, but it's good experience.

Today's Topic: "Money talks." In my case, very sarcastically.

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."