Golf Cynic Prints

"While Trump is slashing jobs his golf trips are costing taxpayers millions" "I'll put this trip in the usual slush fund." "Make Musk richer" "Ways to slash waste fraud and abuse in federal spending"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'I go to college -- What do you do for a living?'

Obama builds own gallows.

"You have a good lie."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

The first accurate poll.

'I hate my boss!...'

'I see you hold degrees in eating, sleeping, AND mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the other college graduates who have applied.'

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

IRS, 'Remember back when 'debt to society' referred to criminals?'

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"