Credit Cynic Gifts

Credit Cards Shredded.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Stock market investment advice

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

The first accurate poll.

So, you'd like a battery of unnecessary tests that aren't covered by insurance .. Are you sure about this? Doctor-Assisted Financial Suicide.

'Doctor, you're on the edge of violating your non-compete.'

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

'Dad, is it true what they say about lemmings following each other off a cliff?' 'If they work at a company like mine, it is.'

'I don't revere this guy because he founded the company. He's the one who tried to talk me out of getting into this business in the first place.'

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

Today's Topic: "Money talks." In my case, very sarcastically.

"Oh you know, insider trading and fudging the number before lunch and then some fraud in the afternoon. How was your day?"

'I can remember when banks competed for customers...Now its shareholders.'

IRS, 'Remember back when 'debt to society' referred to criminals?'

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

Corporate recycle: plastic/paper/empty promises.