Credit Critic Gifts

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

'Credit is a wonderful gimmick that lets you start at the bottom and dig yourself into a hole.'

'You want a loan, you say? Ha, Ha, that's a good one!....Where in the world did you hear that banks made loans?!'

Moody downgrades Portugal.

'So many potential customers... unfortunately, they're not credit-worthy.'

'They'll have to better than that.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

U.S. Credit Rating

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'