Financial Critic Gifts

Private pension scheme not expected to do as well as originally anticipated - please help!

'Why is it costing us $685.35 to process a $25 sales order?'

Loan Sharks

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"How come in your TV adverts you're giving out loans left, right and centre?!"

"If you hold it up to your ear you can hear the sloshing sound of trillions of dollars worth of unsecured debt."

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

Cyber 9/11

"'Teach Too' is a good idea in PRINCIPLE! But in hindsight I think we should have avoided getting involved with certain industries."

You Can't Have a Drink at Age 17 But a Bank Will Lend You $57,000 in Student Loans You'll Never Be Able to Escape

Spinning a few yarns...Carillion-stiltskint turning money into straw.

For Heart Beat Please Select A2 and Insert 50 Euro.

Bankers too big to fail.

The Boneus of Contention

Banks: Customers make a point.

"In space they have black holes... we have bank holes."

Still at large, Wall Street and Greed.

Bonus time/Bogus time.

"I got mine! Let the economy adjust without government interference."

Bank loans.

Money talks. Bullshit walks.

Ah, To Dream

The Muriel Inquisition.

'Let me get this straight, Reverend. You would now like to diversify the Church's 'No Sin' endowment to include some 'Greed'?'

Capitalism

'Where have you filed the annual report? Fiction. Non-fiction.'

THEN: It's the economy, stupid - NOW: It's the stupid economists

STIMULUS PACKAGE ALLOCATION COMMITTEE, 'Okay, we'll take the part out about the Nigerian banker's widow.'

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

Just doing my bit towards breaking up the banks...

'Here's a recap of our bail-out operation so far.'

Moral Bankrupcy Court

'Hmm, a Banksy if ever I saw one!!'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department