Financial Critique Lover Gifts

A mortgage based on your income would be about £120000 but if we take into account the size and voluptuousness of your breasts then the figure would be nearer £400000.

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

Would anybody else like to ask a question before the stewards get to them?

Trickledown economics

World Financial Mafia

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

"This is Mr. Norris. He'll be coming on board as a human shield."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

'George, are you responsible for chopping down this here World Economy?'

'Oh my God!! The economy's in ruins! There's no money!'

'I'm sorry, but there's just no room in the budget for upward mobility... We're all making sacrifices...After all, I haven't been promoted in over twenty years.'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

"Something tells me his demands may be difficult to meet."

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

Bank of England Suspends Gold Payments Following Run on the Banks

Mismanagement at the Bank of England

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

Blame the Victims

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

"In this office I'm the dog and you are the sheep! When I bark, you move!"

Assuming That It Works

Why Can't We Make Money From Our Mistakes Like Equifax?

The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.

Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.

"If you hold it up to your ear you can hear the sloshing sound of trillions of dollars worth of unsecured debt."

'Sorry, Rumplestiltskin, but I'm replacing you with Alan Greenspan.'