Business Critique Lover Gifts

This must be the top management floor.

'Don't tell anyone that we're heating the entire building with pink slips.'

"This company is 100 percent nondiscriminatory. We'll take money from anyone."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

Lethal Presentation

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"We have an acronym!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'I think it is our duty to fully-experience the excess profits.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Office temperature.

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."