Debt Cynic Gifts

"You're bankrupt... That'll be $45,000 please..."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Stock market investment advice

Always Compatible

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

Our love is strong, but it's our mutual dislikes that really keep us together.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'...and do you take this pre-nup...?'

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

'Yeah, I think we have a future together. Would I write you a post-dated check for my half of the dinner if I didn't?'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'It's just a male thing - none of them can feign passion beyond the event horizon.'

Love Then and Now

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'You need to alter your portfolio allocation. Right now it's 25% stocks, 15% bonds and 60% margin loans.'

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

The Fed: Problems and the solution.