Credit Cynic Pillows

Credit Cards Shredded.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Stock market investment advice

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Trust me, there is no subsidized lunch."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"To increase consumer optimism, we're going to put Prozac in the drinking water."

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

The first accurate poll.

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

'Doctor, you're on the edge of violating your non-compete.'

'Dad, is it true what they say about lemmings following each other off a cliff?' 'If they work at a company like mine, it is.'

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

IRS, 'Remember back when 'debt to society' referred to criminals?'

'I can remember when banks competed for customers...Now its shareholders.'

'I don't revere this guy because he founded the company. He's the one who tried to talk me out of getting into this business in the first place.'

"Oh you know, insider trading and fudging the number before lunch and then some fraud in the afternoon. How was your day?"

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'

Finally, a news network that doesn't fill me up...it's 97 fact free!

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

Corporate recycle: plastic/paper/empty promises.

Moody downgrades Portugal.