Goldilocks Twist Fan Gifts

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Sand danger

Fire door.

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Earthworm Stampede

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

'You're taking this far too literally.'

"You will be visited by three spirits, and no, they will not speed things up with a joint Power Point presentation."

'The prince kissed the frog when it didn't turn into a beautiful princess he had frog legs for dinner.'

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

Three Bear Investments, 'Too low', 'Too high', 'Just right'.

"Today won't be too hot or too cold...it'll be JUST RIGHT."

Reindeer with mounted Santa and elf hunting trophies

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

Today: Hot Yoga.

"I'm going for a walk, while this cools. Whatever you do, don't let any, little blonde girls near it!"

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

Holy Water.

The next diet fad.

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'

"So that's one porridge too hot, one too cold and one just right."

Goldilocks and a couple from out of town

'Your starter, sir.'

Mugging.