Goldilocks Twist Fan Pillows

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Sand danger

Fire door.

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Earthworm Stampede

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'The prince kissed the frog when it didn't turn into a beautiful princess he had frog legs for dinner.'

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

'You're taking this far too literally.'

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

Holy Water.

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

Today: Hot Yoga.

"I'm going for a walk, while this cools. Whatever you do, don't let any, little blonde girls near it!"

The next diet fad.

Three Bear Investments, 'Too low', 'Too high', 'Just right'.

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

"So that's one porridge too hot, one too cold and one just right."

Goldilocks and a couple from out of town

'Your starter, sir.'

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'

Mugging.

'A message from the barbarians, sire. They don't want to lay siege. They just want to shoot some hoops.'