Goldilocks Enthusiast Gifts

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

"I'm going for a walk, while this cools. Whatever you do, don't let any, little blonde girls near it!"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

TV jester.

Joust Sharpener

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

underwater knight

Knights of the bedside table.

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."