Goldilocks Guru Gifts

Mama Bear 7 miles, Papa Bear 5 miles, Baby Bear next right.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Deregulated Baseball

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"You idiot! I said, 'Buy more gold', not mold!!"

Cleaning the Horse

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

Boxing

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

In a Quandary

Honey badger do care.

Bad times for retirees.

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'He has a great left hook,'

'Where's your goldfish?'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'You must be the new guy! welcome to riding club buddy!'

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

Goldfish training...

Learner Riders

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

'I'm just feeding the goldfish.'