Goldilocks Guru Gifts

Mama Bear 7 miles, Papa Bear 5 miles, Baby Bear next right.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Aging Support Group

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"You idiot! I said, 'Buy more gold', not mold!!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

Deregulated Baseball

Cleaning the Horse

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

"Take the goldfish. If it's still alive in six months, call us for another interview."

Boxing

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

In a Quandary

Honey badger do care.

Bad times for retirees.

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

'I tell you they switched us when they changed the water. That's my husband over there.'

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

'Where's your goldfish?'

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'He has a great left hook,'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'You must be the new guy! welcome to riding club buddy!'

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"Done saving the world for today."

'I'm just feeding the goldfish.'

Goldfish training...

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Axel, but one of your goldfish has died. That's terrible