Gobbledegook Guru Gifts

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...

Tartine

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Candid Camera store.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"welcome man cave."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Quiz Night...

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'You certainly know how to train gun dogs, Al.'

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"

Wisdom for dummies