Gobbledegook Guru Pillows

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...

Tartine

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Candid Camera store.

Best Before 5th Pint.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"welcome man cave."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

Quiz Night...

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'You certainly know how to train gun dogs, Al.'

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"