Gobble Guru Pillows

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Clown's Comedy Fart.

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

We stock ALL sizes...

"More helium."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Edith does ceramics strictly for her own amusement.

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Acupuncture clinic

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Cleaning the Horse

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

Tragedy and Material

'Any history of extinction in your family?'

Although she wrote in her online dating profile that she wanted a guy with a sense of humor, this was not what Mindy had envisioned.

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'