God's Assistant Gifts

God uses a corkscrew on a volcano.

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

That one has all the batteries!

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had used to have a very shinysun-seekingtreacherouscharitablefame-seeking mobile nose

'Don't worry about your small handicap: Santa is an equal-opportunity employer: It will turn out fine...'

'My teacher was right about how many words you can make with just twenty six letters.'

'I'm a guy and my name is Vixen! Of course I'm going to have issues!'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

Snowball Fight With Santa

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

"Darn technology."

"You guys in Fulfillment have done wonders with your logistics formula."

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'I want a bike and my mum wants four years child support.'

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

Rudloph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Goes Down in History.

"Have a Happy Christmas and a great New Year."

God is dead.