God's Assistant Pillows

God uses a corkscrew on a volcano.

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

'Don't worry about your small handicap: Santa is an equal-opportunity employer: It will turn out fine...'

'My teacher was right about how many words you can make with just twenty six letters.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

Snowball Fight With Santa

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

"You guys in Fulfillment have done wonders with your logistics formula."

"Darn technology."

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'I want a bike and my mum wants four years child support.'

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"Have a Happy Christmas and a great New Year."

Child's Letter to Santa Claus

God is dead.