Angel Apprentice Gifts

The training halo...

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Snow Devil

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

Shrinks in heaven

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Angel Music

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

'She's still a novice yet.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

Wash your hands

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.