Angel Apprentice Gifts

The training halo...

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Snow Devil

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

Shrinks in heaven

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Wash your hands

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'She's still a novice yet.'

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

Angel Music

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.