Santa's Apprentice Gifts

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Before we get to this year's list, let's review your very disappointing performance last year."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

That one has all the batteries!

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Santa's Helpers

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

The other days of the year...

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had used to have a very shinysun-seekingtreacherouscharitablefame-seeking mobile nose

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'Don't worry about your small handicap: Santa is an equal-opportunity employer: It will turn out fine...'

'My teacher was right about how many words you can make with just twenty six letters.'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

Snowball Fight With Santa

Child on Christmas Eve

'I'm a guy and my name is Vixen! Of course I'm going to have issues!'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

For Crying Out Loud I Am Not Rudolph