Angel Trainee Gifts

Cloud Hang

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Angel to lady: 'I'm the angel food cake angel. I bring you peace, hope and comfort food.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

'I wish these wings were for more than show.'

Heavenly Gazette This Heavenly Gazette is awfully thin. There doesn't seem to be a financial section Because you can't take it with you. There's no weather forecast. It's perfect every day. I don't see any sports scores. Everybody's a winner up here. And there are no political reports. Of course not in paradise we don't hear anything about politics!

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

"Bip."

Mexican angels.

The Reason for Storms

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

"I opted for the upgrades."

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with..."

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Next World Tours

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'