Air Force Trainee Gifts

'What do you mean - what comes after left, right, left, right?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

Red Arrows Rookies

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'Call Homeland Security and find out if Bin Laden is behind it.'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

A Crown of Red Poppies

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Bombers drop pretzels

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

'Virtual patient.'

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!

In stunt flying,great admiration is hael for the extremely rare and talented "wing ballerinas".

"Actually, after five ribbons you get one medal free."

"Our drone pilots are out of touch with reality. Make them watch some John Wayne movies."

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"It is a violation of air national guard policy for you to possess an AK-47 from Iraq, boy!! Do you want to suffer the consequences of bringing back a souvenir?!!"

"I'm in the air force!"

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

'That's New.'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

He's working his way up to lions!