Trainee Pilot Gifts

'Not only is this the shortest runway I've ever seen it's also the widest!'

ACME skywriting school

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Dad, may I use the plane tonight?'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

More jets.

Fast Track

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'We better get him out of there! His heart rate and blood pressure are nearing last minute wine-shopper levels!'

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."

'Virtual patient.'

Angel learning to fly...

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

'That's New.'

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

Try Bob's Flight School

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

A bunch of penguins look on as one penguin hang glides above them.

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

Do as many study days as you can

He's working his way up to lions!

'No, you can't fly the kite now...we'll be at the park soon.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."