Goat Farmer Gifts

Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with dairy goats are the hardest.

"I'm everyman, except for goat farmers, and, maybe, haberdashers."

I lactate, therefore I am.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

Axios The Goat

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Billy. The Kid.

Things you don't want to see...(mountain goat falls past climbers).

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Vincent Van Goat.

The worm that churned!

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"You can always count on me."

A Gated Community.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I like to stay on top of things."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Don't worry Mum, if there's a storm and lightning, I'll stay safely next to Bob: My teacher said that lightning always hits the highest point..."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

'Nothing can stop us now, Fred...'

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'