Gluten-free Eating Pillows

"No bread for Grampa. He's on a glutten-free diet."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Kitchen Kapers

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Modern Witch Shoppe

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

Gluten-free Santa

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Buffet - now glutton free.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"Is this house gluten-free?"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Gluten-Free Church

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"It's the gluten-free edition."

'Is the homework gluten free?'