Globetrotting Conversationalists Gifts

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Religion & Economics.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

Subway. The economy is surging! I hope protections are in place. In a digital world, a surge can lead to a system crash.

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Said Cohen? Who's askin? Someone who is about to make your dreams come true. Why? Are you gonna let me yell at you until you bleed? Caustic. Quick-witted just as Facebook led me to believe. What the heck are you talking about?!?! Nothing. Ready to experience pure joy? I'm ready to attack!!

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Not quite Beverly Hills.

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'And he's so-o-o-o knowledgeable about wine. He must have spent an hour telling me about his trip to Chardonnary.'

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

"What is it about us that makes only crazy people want to talk to us?"

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

"Not to be a killjoy, but this happened on our property. Are liable?"

"Hey, this is on me!"

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

"We could always adopt, like, 50 little bunnies from Asia."

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

'Say 'Nessage in a gottle.' one more time and I'm putting you back in your box.'

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

"O positive, why?"

"I still say it's a napalm tree."