Conversationalist On Wheels Gifts

It's so nice talking to you while I'm driving, it helps to break up the monotony!

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

Attention Span Man

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

Speed Bumps.

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"You're not even listening!"