Conversationalists Gifts

"That reminds me of the thing I was going to say next regardless."

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

Not quite Beverly Hills.

'And he's so-o-o-o knowledgeable about wine. He must have spent an hour telling me about his trip to Chardonnary.'

'Do I detect a slight accent?'

"Well, I can't stay chatting like this . . . better finish taking the dog for his walk!"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

A lesson in wit

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'