Glitch Fixer Gifts

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Lazy plumber.

Computer operator welding machine.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'Uh-oh, another Earthlings computer glitch!'

Cyber disease.

"Kick the machine"

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'

'Try rebooting.'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

'If we happen to experience deja vu, let's make sure we do some things differently.'

'Thus the big party.'

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."