Gift For Your Parent-friend Pillows

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'I have here a virus so deadly it could destroy the world...Oh, darn that cat!'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Beware of teething baby.

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

"Where are all the rodents?! Hmmm, that baby girl in the stroller can't be that heavy..."

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

The Truth Fairy.

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'

'If I had my time over again, I'd be too young to go out with boys.'

'Everything's fine with the babysitter - from what I could hear above the music and clinking glasses.'

'Yoo hoo we're home! Have any trouble getting him off to bed?'

Nappy Hour - Drunk mums with babies

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"It looks like our character development initiative is beginning to sink in."

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

'Arnold is a little nervous about meeting you, dad.'

"I think I have diaper rash...whoever is responsible for this I'll sue when I grow up."