Gift For Your Parent-friend Pillows

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'I have here a virus so deadly it could destroy the world...Oh, darn that cat!'

Beware of teething baby.

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'He's been having temper tantrums. Can you recommend a good anger management course?'

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Now that's what I call a sneeze!'

The Truth Fairy.

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

"Where are all the rodents?! Hmmm, that baby girl in the stroller can't be that heavy..."

'Everything's fine with the babysitter - from what I could hear above the music and clinking glasses.'

'If I had my time over again, I'd be too young to go out with boys.'

Nappy Hour - Drunk mums with babies

"It looks like our character development initiative is beginning to sink in."

'Yoo hoo we're home! Have any trouble getting him off to bed?'

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'Arnold is a little nervous about meeting you, dad.'

"I think I have diaper rash...whoever is responsible for this I'll sue when I grow up."

"But you can't miss her second-grade first-semester graduation!"