Gift For A Parent Pillows

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Christmas Tree

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Say it with flowers

'They're dog roses!'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

Love.

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"I hate it..."

Mouse returns home from work.

'Hang on a minute...'

"Shouldn't have, you really."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Loopholes

"Ticket and passport, please."

Baby Bear.

Valentines Balloons

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"