Gift For A Parent Gifts

'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Christmas Tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'They're dog roses!'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Say it with flowers

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"Gift"

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Mouse returns home from work.

"Ticket and passport, please."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

Baby Bear.

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Hang on a minute...'

Loopholes

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"I hate it..."

Valentines Balloons

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"