Ghostly Humor Lover Pillows

"I must warn you that the house is haunted but the ghost are mostly interested in doing sexy ceramics."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Fresh Blood In Politics

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Vampire Humor

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

"When's the last time you flossed?"

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common