Ghostly Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

"Here we are."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

Death Takes A Time-Share

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Fresh Blood In Politics

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"

'George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us.'

"Give me a minute, this is my first time haunting a walk-up."

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common

Meanwhile, in a haunted Chicken coop....

"Are you serious? C'mon...you're pulling my chain."

Frankenstein's Labradoodle

Transylvanian Athletics.

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

'Wow, what a photobomb!'

"What should I use for our scream name?"

"I begged you not to drink all that blood. Now you'll just have to hold it in until sunset."

Fangs ain't what they use to be.