Ghostly Humor Aficionado Pillows

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

Fresh Blood In Politics

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"Does this make us three sheets to the wind or four?"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

What Vampires and Snowmen have in Common

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

"Careful what you wish for."

Transylvanian Athletics.

Frankenstein's Labradoodle

Zzzzzzzzz...

'Man, can't find the keys again! Now do you think these things would come with a light? No, that would make too much sense!'

Vampire eating a 'Clot Noodle'.

The revised 12 days of Christmas

"Trick or treat. We're your old social media posts coming back to haunt you."

"You've finally moved your bowels, Mr. Frankenstein!"