Ghostly Humor Lover Gifts

"I must warn you that the house is haunted but the ghost are mostly interested in doing sexy ceramics."

Where do you think you're going dressed like that?

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

"Wait! First, his attorney."

"You shouldn't be here. Your dead - and don't have an appointment."

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

Fresh Blood In Politics

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"When's the last time you flossed?"

Vampire Humor

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'