Gothic Humor Lovers Pillows

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"I begged you not to drink all that blood. Now you'll just have to hold it in until sunset."

'I just love this new ring tone.'

Fangs ain't what they use to be.

Harker, go for his glasses! Without them, he's blind as a bat!!

"Cheer up! Tomorrow's the solstice, and the days will be getting longer."

Dracula vs the snooz bitton!

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Giant Monster in Bath

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"....and hold the garlic."

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

Fresh Blood In Politics

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Death Takes A Time-Share

Vampire afternoon tea.

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."