Gothic Humour Lover Pillows

' and what blood group are you ?. Don't tell me , let me guess....'.

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"....and hold the garlic."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"You never know what will catch on!"

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Death Takes A Time-Share

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

Janet Leigh caricature

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Fresh Blood In Politics

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

'Dracula, I'm getting tired of you sitting around all day.'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"