Germophobe Funster Gifts

Coronavirus Etiquette

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

The new normal

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Gesundheit.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Wash your hands

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"The penicillin looks good."

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"Aways the victim."

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"Gesundheit!"

'I'm afraid you've got a computer virus.'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Colds! Sore throats! Flue! Did anyone ever tell you you're a hypochondriac?'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'