Geologist Gifts

"Crust" "Mantle" "Creamy nougat center"

'Ah, for the good old days when geologists worked outdoors.'

Holocene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Onions.

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

'Rock historian.'

'#%@*! Fracking!'

Crikey! I'm over half way through this! Maybe I should drink a little slower...

'But when I said I'd follow you wherever your career took you, I didn't know what a volcanologist was.'

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

Mankind loves Earth

'Apparently it was quite a nice country before the mining industry took hold.'

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

'It's a method I've developed to see how much oil is left in a well.'

Modest to a fault.

Continental Drifters - A story of Molten Love of Geological Timescales.

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'I'm sorry but your middle earth is full of our natural gas.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"When did the Fergusons start hydrofracking?"

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

'We're taking soil samples today ... in other words, FIELD TRIP!'

Old Geologists Never Die...they just switch to soft rock.

'Don't be discouraged. Gravel is $3 an ounce.'

The Steakosaurus

Boulder thinks: 'I rock.'

David loses focus for just a moment: 'Wow a petoskey stone.'

No dinosaurs died to make our gas.