Genuine Matchmaker Pillows

"Have I got a girl for you!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Using a social media app to date

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"We met online, it was love at first site."