Purrfect Matchmaker Pillows

Free cats for the right persons

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."