Gavel Lover Gifts

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'He hates it when lawyers quote the Constitution.'

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Bubble gum leaves

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?"

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"Overruled!"

"I'm only wearing one globe because the weather forecast said that toay it might be warm, but on the other hand it might be cold."