Gavel Admirer Gifts

"Since this is your first offense, I'll just take your name off my Christmas card list."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

The Reaper's Arms

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"You dressed!"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

Eagle