Gavel Admirer Gifts

"Since this is your first offense, I'll just take your name off my Christmas card list."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

The Reaper's Arms

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"You dressed!"

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)