Gavel Enthusiasts Gifts

Like many businesses, the Supreme Court has designated Fridays as Casual Day.

What on earth made you decide to go into law, Mr. Fusco? Honestly? I have a women-with-gavels fetish.

Municipal Court. Plus six months for breaking my little hammer!

'We find the defendant about as guilty as the rest of us.'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

The European Union accused of crimes against humanity

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

Closed Thursdays.

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Truth In Education

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'