Gavel Enthusiast Gifts

'I realize that hearsay evidence isn't admissible by the court, Your Honor, but you're going to love this!'

Blind justice?

'Could you maybe not hammer so hard, Your Honor? -- I'm a little hung over.'

"Don't worry about the virus. Of course, you may approach the bench."

'Of course not, my dear -- I'm sober as a judge!'

Bertie Ahern

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Must you be so judgmental?

Surprised witness

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

Uses of justice

'The only thing I like about this job is banging the gavel!'

Judge with gavel, stupid attorney says: Okay, I'll bite, who's there?

"I always wondered what that little hammer was for."

"You might want to think twice about overruling my objections, your honor. You're not the only one with a gavel, you know. En garde!"

Bunker And Dinker - Ambulance Chasers

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

'Now you mention it, Sandra, you do seem a bit judgmental sometimes.'

'Have you checked out that new courtroom - supplies store on 18th street, your Honor? It's called 'Big Gavels For Little Men.''

Judge Duels

'Pop-up blocker.'

A judge carries a horn instead of a gavel.

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"I love the majesty of the law, but mostly it's the opportunity to bang a gavel."

Why are you sniffing my gavel, counselor? I love the smell of justice in the morning.

Have you checked out that new courtroom supplies store on 18th Street, your honor? It's called "Big gavels for Little Men."

The witness will refrain from slapping counsel. You may use my gavel.

Why are you constantly asking to approach the bench? My psychiatrist says I suffer from gavel envy.

My eyes are up here. Sorry. I've always been a gavel man.

Why don

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Overruled!"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."