Gavel Collector Gifts

'Objection overruled. Answer the bloody question.'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'Do I remember you, young man? You're about to find out why they call ne Judge Grudge.'

Full-time Job

'We're not either all in this together!'

Pre-sentencing gavel solo.

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'Your honor, we're ready any time you are.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Lady Justice.

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Used wheels

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Utility Chic.

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'I think that's always how it's been!'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'