Judge's Gavel Collector Gifts

'It's not my fault, your honor. I have an overactive killing gland.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Jazz is Invented

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Six jazz instruments.

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'This is where I keep my gum.'

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

"This is one of those things you should share before marriage."

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

Dueling Banjos two Banjos about to shoot it out in a Duel.