Gatehouse Staff Gifts

"Excuse me, sir. May I see some identification?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Sales.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

Around here it got a little tricky...

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'And Steven here takes care of the donkey work.'

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!